It's Monday, and we're back in school with Travelin'Oma. Today's assignment was timely.
My good friend Trish’s sister died yesterday. She went to the emergency room 12 days ago in pain. Turned out she had a tumor on her adrenal gland. She had surgery to remove the tumor, and things only got worse from there. Over the next ten days her organs shut down one by one. Finally she stopped showing any brain activity. The doctor said if they took her off the ventilator, she would probably only live a few minutes.
Sunday morning the family had some tender moments with her, then the ventilator was removed, and she passed away five minutes later.
How do you prepare for that? How do you get through that? Last Thursday Trish and I were together, and we asked these questions. At that point things were not looking good for her sister, but we were merely speculating. How do you make unemotional, logical decisions in a highly emotional state? How can you know what’s best?
Trish has experienced hard things. Both of her parents have passed away, and now her sister. Trish is my age. My parents are still living, and all of my siblings are still alive. I was with my ninety-eight-year-old grandmother when she died, but that was different. We had none of those decisions to make—she just died peacefully of old age.
I fervently believe in prayer to guide us through these hard times. But I also strongly believe in learning from the experiences of others. I watch and listen, and hope I learn as my friend navigates these difficult waters. Someday I will call her and ask, “How can I do this?” and I know she will be able to help.
Meanwhile I hope I can at least offer some emotional support in these times. Last night we talked about the good times she’s had with her sister lately. About how wonderful and creative her sister was. How her sister is surely with her parents in the spirit world, maybe even playing “Pounce” like they so loved to do.
This is the part I love about death—remembering all the wonderful things about the ones we love; gathering those memories, and holding them close.
My mom died suddenly 12 years ago this week. She was 72, vibrant, active, healthy and still very young. I learned then that even though we don't feel prepared, the Lord bridges the gap and gives comfort and guidance. We just need to be prepared to receive His help.
ReplyDeleteThis was a very thoughtful post.
I really enjoyed your post. Thank you for thinking of Trish and our family. I really think they are playing pounce and that it was a very happy reunion for them :)
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